I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
