God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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