Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
