Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
