my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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