Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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