Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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