I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
