You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
