i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
