Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Randomize
