U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
