how hairy? two words: wookie tits
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
