We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
my god I love twenty year old dicks
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
