my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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