Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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