Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
