i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
