It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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