I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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