I'm eating all of the evidence.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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