dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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