You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
