my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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