...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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