I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
