and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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