what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
