Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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