Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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