Duck Duck Cougar?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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