I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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