I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
