You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
