i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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