Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
