therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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