'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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