ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
