go do what you do best...puke behind churches
that's an acceptable place to lick
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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