What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Drake has all the answers
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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