Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
