im drinking this country out of the recession.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
