google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
