I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
