Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
