it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
