The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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