marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
id be glad to
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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