When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
