but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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