I wannas sexs uuuuu
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
