Will you blow on my dice?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Ketchup is God's man juice
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
